Beauty, the Burn-out, and Beatle Bob

So I saw a couple of SWEET shows this weekend.  My buddy Justin was back in town and we went and saw Hank Williams III and his buds on Thursday night and then on Saturday night we saw the Heartless Bastards.  Both were excellent shows!  I’d highly recommend seeing either of those if they come to a town near you!  Hank may have had the better show because it was more of a show than the Heartless Bastards, but I think I like HB better as a band. That being said, they both rocked!  And then there was the stalkers, yes, stalkers, plural.  Well, not really stalkers, but people that I felt invaded my space.

So there I/we was/were at Mississippi Nights on Thursday.  The place is pretty packed.  We were sitting pretty much right behind the sound and video guys for Hank.  Throughout the whole show, there was this couple that was standing behind us.  It was way messed up.  One of those couples where the guy has absolutely no business being with that girl.  She was a cute little girl, quite possibly even dainty.  At first I thought he was a girl.  The dude had long, brown hair down past his shoulders and it was all curly and frizzy, like even more out of control than mine, no seriously.  He was wearing jeans with holes up in them and a black leather jacket with the zippers and all.  He was what in junior high or high school we would call a burn-out, and again, at first I thought he was a girl.  It was such an odd couple.  She would run her hands through his nest of a hair-do and he would just stand there, not hardly even put his arm around her.  Then he would go get a drink and leave her standing.  Call me old fashion, but c’mon dude, at least have her walk to the bar with you!  Anyway, the show was winding down, Hank was going into his third, yes, third set.  Everyone kinda sat back to chill for awhile.  Then they asked if they could sit at our table with us, it was so weird.  It was a little bitty small bistro style table, and there were already four of us sitting around it (Me, Justin, Heidi, and Matt {old friends of Justin}).  So they just like pulled some chairs up, it was too weird, especially after we had been wondering what the deal was with those two, since they obviously don’t LOOK like they should be together.  Maybe he has a cock down to his knees or something, who knows.

I’m trying to find a parking spot in the Loop so I can go to Blueberry Hill to catch the Heartless Bastards show.  As I’m driving around that lot behind Cicero’s waiting for someone to pull out and playing chicken with the guy across the way who’s also aiming for the spot, I see this couple walk past me, but it was right at a turn so I didn’t get a great look at them.  I thought it was the same couple from the other night…the beauty and the burn-out.  I finally found a spot and headed down to the Duck Room and I tell Justin that I’m pretty sure I passed that couple from Mississippi Nights.  Yeah right, like we would see them at two completely unrelated venues for two separate shows…So we’re enjoying the show and guess who just happens to walk up and stand just to our right, yeah, you guessed it.  I can maybe understand you met someone on a blind date or something and you humor them and go to a concert with them, but the way they were acting, I’m thinking they were a couple.  Me and Matt and Justin still found it hard to believe, it was just weird, like they were following us around or something, hmm….and what was he doing with that girl???  I’m not saying I’m so much of a prize, but gimme a break!

And then there was my, er, The Thunder’s arch-nemesis. BEATLE BOB.  I swear this man is my kryptonite.  He was at BOTH FREAKIN’ SHOWS!!!  I guess it’s cool that you’ve got an old man who has seen a live show every night for the past 10 years or so, but c’mon.  Yes, I respect that fact that he’s on-board with live music and seems to even appreciate the bands that suck.  BUT LEAVE ME ALONE!  If this guy were in your high school he would have been beaten up fairly regularly I’m certain.  But since he’s old and dresses goofy and has that stupid haircut, he’s a St. Louis icon.  Horseshit!  Even the bands make remarks while in the middle of the show saying they’ve heard about him.  And who brings a coffee mug and drinks coffee in between sets at a concert?  And that stupid dance.  It’s like you shake your hands a bit this way, then shake them a bit that way, and then clap.  Every now and again you’ve got to point and shake your finger at one of the band members as if they’ve been naughty but you’re gonna let it slide just this once.  Then you get the occasional shake your head back and forth really fast so everyone can notice your goofy haircut and can take cover from the dandruff blizzard (actually, I’m not sure if he has dandruff because 1. I’m afraid to get that close and 2. I’m kind of on a bit of a rant here and it sounds better if he has bad dandruff).  And lastly, I saw a whole NEW move.  I think good ol’ Beatle Bob has been watching some of Napoleon’s moves.  He has this new thing where he spins back and forth so the tail of his jacket spins around, not unlike dancers would do with their skirts.  It’s not that I’m embarassed of him being a St. Louisan, it’s more I wish he was not so much a part of a show, especially when I’m paying to see someone I really like.  He’s always right there in the front row and not only distracts me, but I can’t stand it when the band makes references that we shall all start partying like this guy, because he understands what it’s all about.  Since Beatle Bob was present at both of the shows I was at, he’ll get labeled a stalker too, if only just for this past weekend.


ps…I totally think the singer-chick from Heartless Bastards wants me.

pps…She can only have me if the whole “me and Shakira and/or Kelly Clarkson” thing doesn’t work out

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